Wednesday, 9 January 2013

Meltdown

Today I was haunted a bit in the wee hours by 'my stuff'. Sigh. Went to practice and had a total meltdown, for completely unrelated and undisclosable reasons. There were a few uncontrollable sobs, actually had to leave my mat and go to the changing room and blow my nose so I could breathe again. Got back and the girl beside me whacked me in the face, by mistake of course. She apologised so it was OK, and did so once again in the changing room afterwards, so I consider her a friend now, nice girl! Another girl saw me come in upset for closing, she was in shoulderstand and gave my leg a little squeeze.....

Went to breakfast and ranted to friends. Had a discussion with another friend on the way out which made me feel A LOT better. Went to chanting, and it really does create positive energy, like magic. Felt totally better afterwards, and standing outside suddenly realised all the physical pain of the first week of 2nd (mainly impossibly aching legs) was gone.... I'd been too obsessed with my emotional pain to notice.

That is all.

10 comments:

Anthony Grim Hall said...

"Another girl saw me come in upset for closing, she was in shoulderstand and gave my leg a little squeeze....."

Glad you have good people out there to help you work through 'your stuff'.

And yeah, what is it with chanting Dr. India's cure-all, never, NEVER thought I'd get into chanting, but it does soothe the 'soul' somewhat.

Electrician and plumber just turned up (an hour early), tapping on the window at 7AM, me in savasana in just my shorts. Folded my Manduka out the way, looked in later and they've piled half a grubby boiler on said mat (to protect the floorboards)....seems ripping up the home shala and whole new boiler is called for ...doing some chanting of my own.

Hope the rest of your day/week/trip is better

susananda said...

Hey... the others here are great, we support each other.

Thanks, and I'm totally fine now.... something upset me, and because it was in the middle of intense backbending, it caused an exaggerated reaction.

Ouch! A new boiler and ripping up the shala too! And disrespecting your mat! Grrr.

I hope your day improves as well!

susananda said...

Well, I figured it out in a flash of insight, the reason for my over-reaction. Something seemingly not a big deal, which struck very close to the heart. It all comes out in the wash here, it seems.....

Helen said...

Hi Susan,

Glad your feeling better. In many ways if your going to have to go something like that then what a great place to do so. As you say everyone is really supportive. I love that about ashtanga practitioners in general, we already have so much in common so we can easily connect, like one huge family that haven't all met. It's funny how little things can be big triggers and being able to notice what they are is great, part of the healing process. It's wonderful that you have the space and time to do that and good friends around you. I remember when I was in Mysore someone was really rude to me and I was so upset crying for ages out of proportion but part of my journey. Anyway glad your feeling better and here is a hug from Liverpool. Breakfast on Monday after practice at Hamish's will be great, I look forward to it. x

(0v0) said...

XO

sereneflavor said...

Tears: the best cleansing agent. Almost as good as rainfall. Glad you feel refreshed.

savasanaaddict said...

Glad that you're feeling better. The chanting is so good isn't it? And Laksmish is such a sweetheart. I left Mysore a few weeks ago so your posts and Karen's blog are helping with the Mysore blues - thanks for blogging again.

susananda said...

Hi savasanaaddict. Nice blog, I've been reading some of your back issues. Hang in there.

And thanks everyone. I've made myself sound like a real basket case, and wish I could explain the situation further, but suffice it to say that anything that happens in the middle of a deep backbend is like a spark under a magnifying glass that bursts into flames......

Zee said...

OMG Susan and Ananda are back. A lot of good wishes for New Year.

I also started blogging in December last year. Check out... http://zeeashtanga.blogspot.com

I will put you on my blog-roll reading list.

Did Sharat asked for me? Hahahaha

susananda said...

Hi Zee. Best wishes to you too for the coming year. I will check your blog :)